I love new beginnings. It is like a fresh start. With each New Year brings a sense of a fresh start. You get to start fresh. You get a clean slate to do it all over. You can reflect on the past and resolve to change the future.

Speaking of reflecting on the past, I would like to reflect over my past year. It has definitely had its ups and downs.

The first part of 2008 was a little slow. I did not have much going on until March. Then it started to get going. First was the birth of my cousin, Dustin’s, first baby. Her name is Rileigh Paige.

Then later that same afternoon my lovely little sister Shannon got hitched to my very funny brother in law Joe.

Then in April my other sister Monacha got hitched to Ryan. I will have to find a pic of that later. Sorry MoL

Then in May I ran a 10k here locally. It was so fun and so hot.

Then in June I ran my 2nd half marathon ever. I had so much fun. It was in Fontana, CA and that is where I graduated from high school. It was fun to go back and spend time with my family.

Mom, Shannon and I at Laguna Beach

Finish Line- 2:16 …….PR!!!!!!
Since then it has been fairly slow while I have worked on some personal demons. I have had a rather rough year with my marriage and making decisions about my life.
I spent September and October training for the Snow Canyon Half Marathon in St. George, Utah. I did not do my best and that is okay because I did finish.
I look happy right?

Now so you don’t think that my year was all unhappy I will leave you with my year end photos. I have not seen my nephews in 3 years and I have not seen their sister since she was 3 weeks old. Well I got to for Christmas this year. Merry Christmas to me.
That is my year in a nutshell. Wow that was a long post. But it is nice to see a recap of how my year was.

Now I am looking forward to this New Year for a lot of reasons. I am doing another half marathon in about a week. In May I am planning on completing my first FULL marathon. I am taking matters by the horns in regards to my mental state.

I am so thankful to have my health and to be surrounded by people who love me. I am very lucky. I have a good job, a roof over my head and the love and support of my family.
I wish everyone a blissful year and remember to hug the ones you love.

*DIVA*

Well it has been a winter wonderland here. So since the treadmill and I are not such good friends I have been going out to the icey roads and running. It feels so good to be back running. I have run 2 days this week and I am so glad to say I AM BACK.

I hope that everyone is having a great week. Enjoy time with your families this holiday.

Morning Everyone!!!!

OK so I kinda dropped a big topic on you all the other day. Well I went to the doctor yesterday and he said ......................You are officially CRAZY!!! OK this is my own interpretation but I came to this when I walk out of his office with pills and a card for a therapist. Oh my mom will be so proud. We have therapy in common.

Ok well today I started the pills. Kinda have the shakes and my stomach hurt like no other for a while but it is only the first day. I will let you know.
In other news I have not worked out this week, so sad for my bootie challenge. But I have a new friend wanna see....

Cute Huh? Well I am so excited about it i am going to try it tomorrow. Hugs To all.

Ok, I have had a bad week all. Last week all I did was 5 miles and 40 minutes of Jillian. This week is better. Today I did 3 miles on the treadmill----yay me! and the only reason I did not go longer was because I got up late. So I am getting there.

I just need to put this in writing so if you do not want to read on from here you do not have to. I go and see my doctor on friday. Why? Well I have a long family history of depression,anxiety and bi polar. I have not offically been diagnosed but most likely it will happen friday. Now I do not think I am bi polar. I do however believe that I suffer from panic attacks,depression and an eating disorder. Wow that was hard to write. It is the first time I have admitted it.

I grew up with a man who always told me how fat I was. He would constantly tell me that I needed to excercise. I will spare other details but I will say that I am glad my mom is no longer married to him. So even at 5'6 and 104 lbs I thought I was fat. That never went away.

My senior year of high school I started to gain some serious weight. 40 lbs to be exact. Then in college I got into walking and dropped some weight. Then after my sophomore year I gained 50 more lbs. I was up to 210 lbs at my heaviest.

Well I came to a point in my life that I knew that something needed to be done. With the help of diet pills and a new running/walking program I started down the road to weight loss. A year and a half later I was down 80 lbs. I was so proud. But I recall now that I was not healthy. I used laxatives, diet pills and starvation techniques.

Then over the next 10 years my weight has gone up and down within 30 lbs. I still look in the mirror and see that heavy person. As of 6 months ago I started using diet pills again and lack of eating. I have seen no improvement. I have trained for 2 half marathons in that time and I have not dropped any weight. I have been frustrated to say the least.

I have become obsessed with it. To the point that I am on the scales at least 4-6 times a day. I am afraid to eat. I am afraid to go off the pills for fear I will gain. I am afraid of starting anti depressants because I may gain weight. Then I learn yesterday that my mom who is 5 foot tall and weighs maybe 120-125 had liposuction. Now we wonder why I have issues.

I know I need help. I am just scared. I feel like people only say nice things about me cause they are afraid to tell me the truth or I say your family you have to say that.

If you have read this far, thank you. I know I need help and have taken the first steps. I have admitted to the blogging world that I have a problem. Now I have to fix it. I am going to try I am just really freaked out.

I hope everyone has a great day. Get your bootie bustin'. Hugs to all.

Here was the sunset about a month ago outside my backdoor.

I dare you!!!

Ok many of you may already be doing this but if you are not you need to.

Bootie Buster

I just love the name. Ok so it starts tomorrow and I am ssssoooo ready.

My plan:

Run 6-7 miles before work and then ride my bike for 45 minutes after work 4 days a week.

3 -4 days a week 20 minutes of strength training with my favorite trainer, Jillian.

I will post tomorrow to let you know how it goes. I have a half on the 17th of January remember. So i need to get crack a lackin.

I just signed up for face book, I know a little behind, drop me an email and i will look you up.

Have a great day!!!

Diva

So how did I do??????

Crappy, I am a slacker. I have an excuse but I do not feel it is good enough to warrant not running. I did however make up for it this morning. I got up did the strength training that I needed to do and put on the running gear and headed out for a quick 3 miles. Better then nothing right.

So what is on for tomorrow? I will do 5 miles. No excuses.

If you are in need of motivation for the winter months then sign up for this: Holiday Bootie Buster Challenge.

Have a good day.

Hugs

What the hell?

Ok I am ging to put it ut there. What is the worst that can happen ? Everyone in blogland makes fun of the slacker that I am.

Well I am not going to let that happen.So here goes:

Tomorrow I will be running 5 miles. Okay there it is. Thank you Laura for the advice. I am setting out my clothes in the morning and I will be heading out at 4:30 am ( bbbrrrrr).

I will let you all know how it goes.

Hugs